Mindfulness of Anger
Mindfulness is about paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations in the present moment without judgment. When it comes to anger, practicing mindfulness helps you become more aware of your feelings, identify the causes of your anger, and understand that anger is a natural emotion that doesn’t have to control your actions.
The 4 Steps of Mindfulness of Anger: Notice, Name, Normalize, Choose
1. Notice Your Anger
The first step is to notice when you're feeling angry. This requires paying attention to your body and emotions, without getting caught up in the story your mind might be telling you.
How to Practice:
Check in with yourself: Are you feeling tense? Do you have tightness in your chest, clenched fists, or a faster heartbeat?
Are your thoughts becoming more focused on what’s frustrating you? Are you imagining what you’d like to say or do in response to the situation?
Why It’s Important:
By noticing anger as it arises, you can prevent it from growing out of control. Awareness helps you pause before reacting.
2. Name Your Anger
Once you notice that you're feeling angry, the next step is to name it. This means labeling the emotion you're experiencing rather than letting it take over.
How to Practice:
Simply say to yourself, “I am feeling angry right now.”
You can also try to name the specific type of anger you’re experiencing, such as frustration, irritation, rage, or resentment.
Why It’s Important:
Naming your anger helps separate you from the emotion. It’s like saying, “This is something I’m experiencing,” rather than “I am anger.” This creates a bit of space between you and the emotion, allowing you to respond more mindfully.
3. Normalize Your Anger
The next step is to normalize your anger. This means recognizing that anger is a completely natural and human emotion that everyone experiences at times. It doesn't make you a bad person or someone who’s out of control.
How to Practice:
Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel angry. Say, “It’s normal to feel angry when someone treats you poorly”
Try not to judge yourself for feeling angry. Instead, acknowledge that anger, like any other emotion, has a purpose: it alerts you to things that need attention or change.
Why It’s Important:
Normalizing anger helps you avoid shame or guilt. Instead of feeling bad for being angry, you can accept it as part of your emotional experience, which makes it easier to handle.
4. Choose How You Respond
Once you’ve noticed, named, and normalized your anger, the next step is to decide how you want to proceed. This means acting in line with your values instead of reacting impulsively.
How to Practice:
Ask yourself: What do I want to stand for in this moment? How can I respond in a way that aligns with my values and the kind of person I want to be?
Take a mindful pause before acting, allowing yourself time to choose your response.
Why It’s Important:
Anger can push us toward actions we later regret. Choosing how to respond mindfully helps you act in ways that reflect your values and maintain your self-respect.
Quick Mindfulness Exercise for Anger
Pause: The next time you notice yourself becoming angry, take a moment to stop what you're doing.
Notice: Check in with your body. Where do you feel tension or heat? What thoughts are running through your mind?
Name: Acknowledge what you're feeling. “I am feeling angry right now”
Normalize: Remind yourself that anger is a normal, natural emotion. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s part of being human.
Choose: Decide how you want to proceed. What response aligns with your values and the kind of person you want to be?
Final Thoughts:
Anger doesn’t have to control you. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of your anger and respond in ways that are respectful to yourself and others. Remember: It’s okay to feel angry. What matters is how you choose to manage it.