A Surprising Reason You Might Be Stuck in a Negative Cycle
Hey there!
I have worked with many people who struggle with painful emotions. And almost always, they will say to me: “I don’t know why I’m feeling this way!”. You see, our minds naturally try to make sense of our experiences. They are like problem-solving machines, constantly searching for answers and solutions. But here’s the thing: asking ourselves “why” we are feeling a certain way is not always helpful.
Sure, there are times it might help us to identify and solve a problem. But sadly, it’s not always that easy.
You see, our lives are really complicated. And, there generally isn’t one simple reason why we are feeling a certain way. In fact, if you’re like most people - you could probably come up with a whole list of reasons why you might be feeling terrible!
Most of us are already well aware of the challenges in our lives that cause us pain. So, when we ask ourselves “why” we feel a certain way, we’re not always searching for the root cause. Instead, asking why can be a sneaky way of invalidating our feelings, criticizing ourselves, and telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t feel this way.”
And not only this, but the more we dwell on the reasons why we are upset, the more upset we are going to be.
Now, I want you to hear me very clearly. This doesn’t mean we can magically stop asking ourselves “why”. After all - it’s just our mind’s way of trying to help us!
But, the next time we catch ourselves overanalyzing why we are upset, here are three steps you can try instead:
Acknowledge your thoughts, non-judgmentally.
Practice being kind to yourself.
Here are some examples of kind things you can say to yourself (even if it feels totally fake):
It’s normal to feel how I am feeling.
Everyone struggles.
It makes sense I feel the way I do.
My feelings are totally valid.
This is really hard.
Get up and move your body, in whatever way works best for you.
By taking these steps, you can find a healthier way to manage your emotions and improve your mental well-being. Give it a try and see how it feels!
All the best,
Jayne