Understanding the Fight, Flight, Freeze Response

Your nervous system’s job is to protect you. When it senses danger—whether real or not—it reacts automatically. You don’t choose to go into fight, flight, or freeze. Your body is doing what it has learned to do to keep you safe.

For some people, especially those with a history of trauma, the nervous system can become more sensitive to threats. This means you might get stuck in these protective states, even when there is no immediate danger.

What Happens in Fight, Flight, or Freeze?

When faced with a threat, your body reacts in one of three ways:

Fight: Preparing to Confront the Threat

  • Tension in your muscles (clenched jaw, tight shoulders, or fists)

  • A rush of energy, restlessness, or shaking

  • Increased heart rate and shallow breathing

  • Irritability or an urge to argue or lash out

Flight: Trying to Escape the Danger

  • A racing heart and quick breathing

  • Restlessness or jitteriness

  • Sweaty palms or a tight chest

  • An overwhelming urge to leave or avoid a situation

Freeze: Shutting Down for Protection

  • Heavy limbs, numbness, or exhaustion

  • Brain fog or trouble speaking

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself or your surroundings

  • Slowed heart rate and cold hands or feet

These responses evolved to help humans survive dangerous situations. But in today’s world, many of the threats we face—work stress, social conflict, or overwhelming emotions—aren’t solved by fighting, running away, or shutting down.

How Your Nervous System Adapts

Your nervous system is constantly shifting between different states based on how safe or threatened you feel. This is explained through Polyvagal Theory:

Ventral Vagal (Safe & Connected)

When you feel safe, your nervous system allows you to connect with others, feel calm, and think clearly. You might notice:

  • A steady heart rate and deep breathing

  • Relaxed muscles and a sense of ease

  • Feeling present in the moment

Sympathetic (Fight or Flight)

When danger is sensed, your body gears up for action. In this state, you might experience:

  • A rush of adrenaline and increased heart rate

  • Fast, shallow breathing and tense muscles

  • Feeling hyper-aware of your surroundings or easily startled

Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown/Freeze)

If a threat feels too big to fight or escape, your body may shut down. This can feel like:

  • Slowed heart rate and low energy

  • Feeling numb, disconnected, or dissociated

  • Trouble focusing or making decisions

Learning to Work With Your Nervous System

Your body’s responses aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re signs that your nervous system is trying to protect you. But since many of today’s stressors aren’t physical dangers, we need different tools to regulate our systems.

Healing doesn’t mean never feeling anxious or shut down—it means learning how to respond to yourself more kindly and effectively. The more you understand your nervous system, the more you can work with it to create moments of calm, connection, and safety in your daily life.

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Self-Soothing Strategies: A Guide to Finding Comfort in Hard Times