Mastering Anxiety: Your Essential Guide
I've said it a thousand times, but it’s always worth a gentle reminder - anxiety is a normal part of being human. And, the more we try to control or suppress anxiety, the more power it has over our lives. Imagine there’s a young child you care about who’s terrified of dogs. How would you help them? Would you keep them away from parks, TV shows, or books that feature dogs? Probably not. You’d likely acknowledge their fear with compassion, and then gradually introduce them to dogs, starting with something small, like reading a book about a friendly puppy. Over time, they’d learn that their fear doesn’t have to limit them.
The same approach works for us as adults. When we avoid anxiety, it often grows, and our world becomes smaller. This is where the concept of willingness comes in. Willingness means opening up to your experiences as they are, without trying to change or escape them. It’s about making room for those unpleasant thoughts and feelings so you can live a meaningful life despite them.
By willingly exposing yourself to challenging emotions, you build resilience, increase your capacity to handle discomfort, and diminish the control anxiety has over you. Gradually facing anxiety-inducing situations teaches you that you can manage the unease and still live a life that matters to you. This approach, known as willingness, empowers you to live a richer, fuller, and more meaningful life—even with anxiety.
How Can You Practice Willingness?
Here’s a practical guide to help you take back control of your life:
Identify Your Values: What truly matters to you? Identify the values you want to work towards and any related goals.
Brainstorm Activities: Think of activities that align with your values and goals. Choose activities that might be anxiety-inducing but also meaningful.
Predict the Difficulty: Estimate how challenging you think the activity will be.
Assess Your Confidence: How confident are you that you can accomplish the activity? Aim for at least an 8/10 confidence level.
Assess Your Willingness: Are you willing to experience discomfort to achieve what’s important to you? Recognize that difficult thoughts, emotions, and sensations may arise.
Pick an Activity: Start with something small that you feel confident you can achieve and that aligns with your values.
Engage in the Activity: Go ahead and do it. Allow any difficult emotions, sensations, or thoughts to show up, and let them be.
Reflect: Afterward, take time to reflect. What did you notice about your thoughts, feelings, and sensations? How did your actual experience compare to your predictions?
The next time anxiety shows up, instead of pushing it away or trying to control it, choose willingness—and see what difference it makes.
Ready to put this into practice? Download the Willingness Worksheet to start your journey toward a more meaningful life, even with anxiety.
All the best,
Jayne